“I See Myself In You”: When a Hollyhock Stops Apologizing for Reaching
Part of the Misread Series
You know the moment.
Someone talks right over you like you didn’t just speak. Or they’re shocked (genuinely shocked) when you tell them you served in the Navy. Like the story doesn’t fit the shape of you. Like there’s no way you could be that and be this.
You’ve tried to redirect the conversation back toward you. It doesn’t stick. It goes back to them. You’re used to that. You reach toward people. You check in. You keep the plan when everyone else bails. You make sure they feel heard. And most of the time, there’s no one on the other end of that doing it back.
So you keep reaching anyway. That’s how you function. That’s how you think. That’s how you show up.
This post is going to show you two women who are Hollyhocks: women wired to reach, to see, to pull people forward, and what becomes possible when they stop apologizing for that design. You’ll see what a Hollyhock looks like at full strength. You’ll also see what it costs when the reaching goes one direction. And you’ll understand that this pattern isn’t a flaw. It’s terrain that needs the right conditions to bloom.
You’re Not Alone In This
I see women like you everywhere. Women who notice who’s missing before anyone else does. Women who keep the standing plan when everyone bails. Women who reach and reach and reach, and somewhere along the way, they start apologizing for it.
For taking up space with their need for connection. For not being the kind of woman who prefers to work solo. For caring too visibly about whether people feel held.
You’ve heard it before. You’re too much. You’re too intense. You’re too focused on people. Why do you always need to check in? Why can’t you just let things happen?
That’s not feedback. That’s a misread. And I want to show you what happens when a woman who’s wired exactly like you stops believing it.
